One of these Days, I'm Going to Break a Huge News Story on this Blog

I'm talking like story of the century.

Unfortunately no one will believe me. Despite my constant insistence that I never lie and that things I say make sense.

But that will be your mistake, for you will be unable to use this vital piece of information to your advantage, and I will.

On second thought, if I can use this to my advantage, why would I ever tell you? It's not like I make money off this blog. And its not like I care about my journalistic credibility. And fuck you because you wouldn't believe me if I did. To Hell with it then. I will not break any huge news stories on this blog. If my sources give me anything good, I will sit at home content in my advanced knowledge of world events. And you will sit at home blissful in your ignorance.

Sounds like a good deal for both of us.