Life is a Game

The rules are a lot like chess. Except instead of a King you have to protect your reproductive organs.

And instead of one opponent, there are 5 billion. And instead of opposing pieces there are mountain lions, bears, car accidents, floods, asteroids, tornados, hostage situations, jealous lovers, ledges to fall off, factory accidents, mine cave-ins, and the occasional homicidal maniac.

But you do have hordes of souless minions that are a lot like pawns. What, you don't? Oh, right I forget that other people don't. Sorry.

OK, so maybe it's not that much like chess. Maybe bocce? Or cricket? Jacks?

Well, whatever, the specifics of it are not important to you. All you need to know is that I have already won.