I Want Albert Pujols On My Baseball Team

I may not own a baseball team. But he is sooooo good. So good that I want to acquire a team so that I may have him on it.

I am worth a grand total of ~$29.00 right now, and I am only in about $18,000.00 of student dept. That should qualify me to own the Nationals. Or at least the Royals or the Marlins.

I am not kidding. Pujols and Ortiz (don't worry I have him on lock) on the same team? That's a team that would win at least 62 games. And if I'm as good of a salesman as I am, that's a profit. For me. Not you. Me.