Please Donate to the Get Me Rich Fund

For you see, I will use your money in much cooler and more imaginative ways than you could ever fathom.

You may ask: "what about those less fortunate, should I not give my money to them?" The answer to this issue lies in Utilitarian ethics. To the utilitarians, we can only judge acts as right and wrong based on whether they increase or decrease the general happiness of those involved.

Now you should see how this works. I am objectively better at spending money than other people. Therefore, by spending your money, I will have made myself so much happier as to exceed any potential happiness gained by you or any other potential recipient. Therefore, the general utility of the world will increase and the world will be an objectively better place.

So please, make a donation to The Get Me Rich Fund. Every dollar counts.