My Plan Is Foolproof

I was reading up on some conspiracy theories about how the CIA invented crack to subdue inner city populations. I found the idea quite inspiring. Drug addiction makes people very predictable in certain ways. If you control their access to the drug, you control the addict. In ways they will never be aware of.

But how to enact this on a large scale? It is difficult to expose a worldwide population to a drug without their knowledge and consent. So I explored another avenue. There are certain chemicals upon which every man woman and child is just as dependent as the addict to his drug. That's right, I am referring to food, water, and oxygen.

Yes, if you control those, you control the world! Best of all you can make the shortage appear to result from some other cause. And by the very fact that you (or rather I) are the one who can supply it, you will be lauded as a hero. No one will dare bite the hand that feeds them, so to speak.

When will I enact my plan you ask? What, do you think I am some kind of cartoon villain who would expose the details of my plan when there is any possible chance of affecting its outcome? No. I did it 35 minutes ago.

Enjoy your lifetime of servitude.