I Propose We Market Our Presciption Drugs Directly to the Public!

If big business tactics have taught us anything, it is that multimillion dollar ad campaigns are essential to any kind of success. Clearly our current policy of restricting our advertising to the media of ball point pens and post-it notes is far from sufficient.

Also, I think we should no longer focus marketing on the doctors. After all, they are educated, informed, and a little bit impartial. No, it is the public that is stupid, sheepish and paranoid. We must advertise to them! Never mind that the doctors are the ones who are supposed to decide what drugs a patient gets. That's a stupid idea anyway. It's a free market isn't it?

Let's get on this immediately. Go purchase 20 soft focus lenses and the rights to some shitty acoustic new-age song. I will hit the streets to find a moderately attractive, prematurely graying couple.